Of Legs and Lamps

Author: Mallory Currie

It’s Christmas time,

Which means Holiday cheer  

Of Christmas caroling “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,”

Of Christmas trees, of strategic mistletoe,

Of Secret Santa, of Dirty Santa,

Of a woman’s leg clad in fishnet stockings,

Wearing a pointed toe, one-inch high heel,

Topped with the skirt of a yellow lampshade.


It’s Christmas time,

Which means festivities

Of my mom running ragged buying presents,

Of my little brother still believing in Santa,

Of trying to keep off the naughty list,

Of my dad with ruddy red Santa cheeks

Chugging down eggnog like water,

Sliding his hand up the leg of the lamp.


It’s Christmas time,

Which means visiting family

Of my mom’s side, Mimi and Papa,

Of my dad’s side, Grandma and Grandpa,

Of my mom’s house, her dachshund Brutus,

Of my dad’s house, his girlfriend Sherry,

Putting her foot down so that

The lamp is finally left unmolested.


It’s Christmas time,

Which means another year

Of wishing I was taller,

Of waiting to be a woman,

Of wanting to become a mermaid,

Tangling my fin in fishnet stockings

So my future husband never leaves me.



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