Author: Erin Green
As he watched his little girl pickpocket the man he couldn’t help but feel proud. They were standing in the subway station of New York City, and his daughter, Beth, was walking around in a bright pink dress, something that looked like he had bought it during an “Easter 50% off” sale in a department store. He crossed his arms, leaned against the steel column that was holding up the roof of the subway, and adjusted his sunglasses. His name was Kirk and he was what one would call a “professional scam artist.” Every now and then he would use the word “con artist,” but “scam artist” had a nicer ring to it, in his opinion.
Kirk had taught his daughter, Beth, everything she needed know to embark in the career field of professional thieving. Kirk had been pickpocketing since he was thirteen years old—the age when his mother, who was diagnosed with terminal cancer died, and his father walked out on him because of the grief of losing the love of his life. Kirk had been sent to live with his aunt who was a crack addict and never really took care of him as a “guardian.” Beth was only nine years old, but she was about as talented as he was.
“I got a wallet with actual cash this time, daddy,” Beth said as she approached Kirk.
Kirk grabbed the walked and examined it. He pulled Beth to the side, behind a wall with a map of the city on it. There was a trash can sitting in front of the wall with fast-food boxes, condoms, and travel guides. He opened the wallet and looked into it with serious curiosity and a smile crept across his face like a cat creeping across a street under the moonlight. There were five twenty-dollar bills and a fifty-dollar bill. “Nice work, Beth!” He knelt down on one knee and gave her a hug. “I love you. You’re such a talented girl.”
“Well,” said Beth, “I learned from the best!”
Kirk chuckled and patted her on the shoulder. “Yeah, you’re right about that. Come on, let’s get on the train and see if we can get some more. Now, what’s the rule?”
Beth stood in place for a second, thinking heavily. She then lit up with glee, causing her father to smile. “Always be subtle. Never let anyone see me, and if I get caught, the blame is all on me and I should just start crying because crying girls makes people uncomfortable.”
Kirk nodded. His daughter had learned well. “Good, good girl. Now let’s hurry before it takes off.”
Beth grabbed Kirk’s hand and they both sauntered over to the subway as it stopped. People were getting on and some were getting off. Kirk looked to his left and saw an older woman with a giant diamond necklace around her neck. She had big black glasses on that he assumed were for blind people. His theory was confirmed when he saw she had a cane just like a lot of visually impaired people had. As people were loading onto the train, Kirk nudged his daughter Beth and he pointed to the older blind woman.
Kirk leaned forward as they sat down on the train and whispered into Beth’s ear: “She has a diamond necklace—that’s worth a fortune. I need you to get that.”
“But, how?” asked Beth.
“I don’t fucking know,” he whispered loudly into her ear, spit flying from his lips and entering her eardrum and flowing deep into it. “Just act cute. Give her a hug or something.”
Kirk sat down in the very back of the train. The doors closed and the subway took off. He could see that Beth was pondering her plan of action. He licked his lips, wondering what she planned on doing. Even though Beth was an intelligent girl and very talented at stealing, she was still just a nine-year-old and he was putting her in a high stress situation. But, in his defense, this wouldn’t be too hard because the lady was old and blind.
Beth began to skip down the subway. People sat and watched her. Kirk watched as she skipped past the Black woman who wore a turtleneck and a name tag with the name of a non-profit social work organization. Her natural hair was styled into an afro. Kirk saw a young white guy, who he assumed was a college student because of the “NYU” stamped on his t-shirt, watch Beth delicately, probably wondering where her father was. Eventually Beth made it all the way to the end of the train where the blind old woman was and, artistically, she tripped and fell.
“Ow!” Beth screamed. “I hurt my elbow!”
“Are you alright,” the old woman asked, sensing the child in front of her.
Kirk slammed his fingers into his mouth and began munching on his fingernails. He watched as the diamond necklace glittered in the fluorescent lighting.
“I hurt myself!” Beth cried. “I have a boo-boo—can you kiss it please?”
The old woman smiled. “Oh, of course I can, baby,” said the old woman. She reached her arms out for Beth to come closer. “I’ll kiss it all better and give you a hug.”
Kirk could feel his body sweating as the diamond necklace swayed as the old woman took Beth into her arms.
“Mwah!” The old woman kissed Beth’s elbow. “All better?”
“All better!” Beth said with a smile. The subway audience was uninterested—they saw a girl get her “boo-boo” kissed too many times in their life to even care. “Can I have a hug?”
“Sure thing, sweetheart,” said the old woman. She embraced Beth.
Kirk’s stomach clenched. He watched as Beth’s arms went around the neck of the old woman. He could see that Beth was fondling with it, trying to unhook it. He saw his chest rise and fall at a rapid rate. “Oh, fuck,” he said under his breath. What if people were noticing?
Beth jumped from the woman’s lap, talentedly hiding the diamond necklace. “Thank you so much for the hug, miss old lady.”
“Oh you’re welcome, dear,” the woman replied and then scooted back into her seat, and when she felt her chest, she noticed the necklace wasn’t there. “What the…” She froze. “Did you take my necklace, sweetie?”
“Drop dead,” Beth said, and started to walk away.
Kirk’s mouth dropped. What he witnessed next could not have been predicted. The blind old woman reached into her purse and pulled out personal taser. She shot it in the direction that Beth’s voice was coming from and Beth screamed and vibrated and slammed into the floor. Kirk didn’t know what to do. The train stopped and he heard the conductor say that this was the next stop. People were screaming, yelling, crying. The black social worker dropped to her knees to see if the girl was okay. Kirk sighed with frustration and exited the subway.