the art of selflessness

Author: Paige Wyatt

 

people keep telling me how nice i am

which is good because

i have been trying to be better

i want to turn my cheek

let positivity roll off my tongue

let sweetness encompass my being

conscious effort has gotten me this far

but in spite of all this effort

they want me vengeful

they want me to sink my teeth in

and give them a piece of my mind

be harsher to them than they were to me

or worse

they want me to believe them

when they say things like

i just dont get it

youre way hotter than her

have you seen how many men look at you

and while their lovely words

fuel me for a while

i think these people sometimes forget that

just because

i get told how pretty i am

that i have a bangin body

that my lips are the kind

anyone should want to kiss

and yes of course i like to hear that

it is not that i couldnt use the compliments

we all could

it is just that these same people

look at me with envy when i say things like

well yes maybe i am prettier

and maybe i look better in

his favorite dark wash skinny jeans

and maybe just maybe he accidentally

dreams of kissing me some nights

but

what do we know about her heart

how can we be so sure that she isnt good for him

maybe the curves of her body draw out roads

he didnt know his fingertips needed to travel

maybe her lips drip words about him

sweeter than any honey he has tasted

maybe it is not a temporary taste for her nectar

maybe she is exactly what he has been searching for

and maybe

just maybe

she speaks to his soul

in ways i or anyone but her

could have never imagined

these people also do not understand

how badly i want him to listen

how i want him to take in every note

she plays on her heart strings

how i want him to know

what actual earth shattering true love feels like

i can never seem to find the words

to explain that i really am okay

with being a stepping stone

i am genuinely okay

knowing that i helped him see in me

what he was not looking for

and use it like a star map

to find whomever

was meant to complete

his inner constellation

if he and i are not meant

to explore the same galaxies

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